Siamese Inferno

When it comes to Thai, Bangkok Jams and Amarinds don't cut it for me. There's nothing like Thai dishes whipped up by native Siamese, and cooked like it was for the Siamese... No adulteration or dilution of the inferno. No sparing of lip burn, intestinal heat and anal fires the day after.

Anyone who has lived in Kelantan will tell you the place to go is Chieng Mai Restaurant, tucked away in the little kampung of Wakaf Bharu, behind a beautiful Siamese temple gilded in gold. Every few hours the Eastern express train will make its chugging journey past, interrupting the crickets and rustling the man-high lalang.

The favourites are their Khaeng Som (a spicy-sour steamed fish with a variety of vegetables, kept piping hot by an under-flame) and Phat Pet Belut (chopped eel fried with fresh pepper corns and glorious Thai spices and herbs).

Both are addictive and wildly corrosive! Also try the volcano chicken (a whole barbequed bird skewered upside down and doused in flaming spirits) and crispy trotters (ask for the radius-ulna and not the tibia-fibula part of the oink.)

If you're ever in Kelantan - make sure the locals bring you there (as only the locals know the serpentine route to the place.) I may be persuaded to draw you a map or even better - let out a secret of where to get some in KL!